yesterday's today show

Watch this, before continuing

Okay, now that you've seen that, here are some questions. First of all, there has got to be an easier way to tell your parents you are gay besides sassing the ladies of the Today show, during your cooking segment. Secondly, I love the way Kathie Lee Griffin takes it so serious like she's got some serious weight at the station. "they've been around a long time cause they don't talk to us like that!" mmm you tell him girl. For those of ya'll that don't keep up she was the one on the show with Regis before they got tired of her, and politely asked her to resign. So, for the record, someone does talk to you that way. On top of that, she's on during the Today show's last hour, the hour when the only people still watching are the kids who stayed home sick from school, and the old ladies wondering when Murder She Wrote is coming on. Don't really have much else to add on that one, it was funny to me, thought I would share....I've got to take a shower but while I get clean, how bout you ponder this for a second. 

I found out the very wrong way today that if a place sells more than one type of food, like ohhh I don't know, lets say for example. "George's" on 14th and Florida in Northwest D.C and carries on the menu, crab legs, won ton soup, salmon steaks, gyros, subs, macaroni and cheese, fish sticks, bacon and eggs, and moo goo guy pan,  all cooked on the same grill... and everything on the menu is under 9 dollars, and the store has a straight up American name, with nothing but ESL's (english as a second language) working there, with bullet proof glass, and a .25 cent charge on all debit card transactions, and a delivery boy that comes in with plastic bags on both his hands, your meal just MIGHT, have no business in your stomach, and believe you me, your stomach will let you know in the most vigorous of ways. 

welcome to D.C 

it just made me think of git r done

so here is to retract my previous post about The Lady's family. Her family is not a bunch of banjo playing fools, they are a very 21st century family, good time having people. So to anyone who may have been misled...don't be.

(I am on the phone with The Lady right now, her exact words were "babe people are gonna think my family is all redneck" "when I read it, it made me think of git r done" followed by her screaming at me DO NOT PUT THAT IN YOUR BLOG)

she loves me

do i need a candle holder?

For whatever reason, whenever walking down the street, all black men will greet other black men that they pass, be it with a nod, a "what up", "my man" etc. However after a few days in D.C I have noticed that there are quite a few other greetings mixed in the Negro lexicon, I was not so aware of.

I grew up middle class, and have no delusions of being some pseudo thug, or a big city cast away like so many of my fellow counterparts. So some parts of the new city are taking me by surprise. Take for example, the fact that there is apparently some city wide staring contest going on between all black men, of which I must have not gotten here too late to register for. Needless to say, just about every black man I come across finds it necessary to engage me in said contest. Oh, and apparently there is a housing shortage in D.C because damn, there are quite a few brothers on the street. With varying degrees of ways to ask for cash, ranging from "yo yo bro, got some spare change" this approach is entirely flawed. See from a marketing stand point, you've got to set your goals higher, that way you can at least work your way down. I bet if they came straight off the top with "yo yo, bro, you got 783 dollars I could hold?" . You might be inclined to think, whoa, this brother's got some stuff he needs to get taken care of, 783 is such an exact number, heck I could help a little with that, what the heck, here's 5 bucks, or at least .78 cents. On the other hand, you start asking for change, people already thinking "what the heck, are you gonna do with some change? what, are you collecting 50 state quarters? cause if so, all I got is New Hampshires, and I know you don't want one, speaking of which, what the hell are you doing collecting quarters when you need to be getting a job....See, its all in the marketing, but again, I digress.

There is another set of homeless, the one's with severe mental issues, to whom I have a great deal of compassion, and find it a sad state of affairs, that in the city where some of the most powerful men in the world, politically, can sleep with interns and make billion dollar underhanded hand shakes, mere miles away these folks can be forced to live like this, shames me to be American. Yet, there remains one set, of homeless that in my brief stay has left an indelible mark on me. That would be the "creatively lucid" crowd, or more commonly known as the crack heads. Just today, a creative lucid asked me if I wanted to buy his goldfish, mind you the goldfish did exist it was in a bag full of water, never mind how he got this gold fish, just know that he was willing to sell it. See, I'm no idiot, and I know he didn't wake up with that gold fish, which means someone earlier today, gave him this fish, and now look at him, what does he do with it, sit on the curb and try to auction it off, heck no am I going to give you anything, for all I know you'll be peddling it in 5 hours, and as I said, all I've got anyway is some New Hampshire quarters. So between the staring contest and goldfish peddlers, we somehow have no more time for the simple head nod I am so accustomed to, I'm baffled and lost. It's stained in my skull to do the nod, but now my mind is overwhelmed with two new default responses, the look away, and the "nah man". I still have trouble with both and sometimes end up looking away and saying nah man, which actually led someone to give me a gold fish thinking I was talking to myself (not really). It's a lot to be running through my head while just trying to find somewhere to eat during lunch, and just when I thought I was starting to get a grasp on things, right before I walked inside the apartment, some old brother on a bike across the street just hollered at me "YOUNGBLOOD, youngblood, you need a candle holder...?"(yes really) wait, what? Rather than answer, look away, nod, or stare, I just gave him a New Hampshire quarter.

ahhh welcome to big people world.

Black in America and other thoughts

Some thoughts while this conference call zaps my brain.

So last week CNN ran their "Black in America" special, and the general under current of feedback I got back from my black friends was primarily negative. With people saying that they felt the shows were too negative, and/or they didn't say anything black folks didn't already know or say behind closed doors. However when speaking with my non black friends, it seemed to come across as an informative, shocking, and disturbing piece of news.

To which got me thinking, first of all, black folks were not the target audience for that show, as a black in America, why would one be led to think that 5-6 hours worth of a CNN special would teach you anything that an entire life's worth of lessons would not. Secondly, we as a people have not done a well enough job of conveying our relevance as an entity to mainstream America. We still come across as a group of people hell bent on killing each other, and complaining about our lack of opportunities. In no way am I trying to negate that at times we are, or have been given less than equal playing ground. However, we have struggled out of the gates, and are now still by and large, seen as "them" and not quite "us" in regards to American culture. We have yet to embrace the fact that we are Americans, we too deserve to be taken seriously and until we take ourselves seriously then who else will. We too are America, this is black in america.

This, and this, and this and this, are black in america. There is no shame of being Black in America, and we should not have to pander to the lowest denomination or belittle ourselves with jokes of bad credit, and fathering a million kids, or being able to dance, and jive all the time. We should boast, that we too are America, and heck, I say that as someone proud of my heritage, if you are reading this and are not black, you get your happy hips around some knowledge and learn about your people too. America is a melting pot, and should be treated as such, everyone here came on a boat, and if you didn't, we killed you when we got here, and shipped you to a reservation in South Dakota.

Speaking of which, are you aware that Native Americans have one of the highest alcoholic rates in the country, and are 5 times more likely to die from a booze related incident than other races. How else would you cope with being a people based on sharing, and using the earth who are run off by greedy who have spent the last 500 years pillaging what you so deeply cherished. Bottoms up.

So to those of us, who were not impressed with the CNN special, remember, it wasn't for you. For those that were, good, now go text your black friend and tell him hello (if I get any hello texts I'll be heated...not cause I got it, because my white friends better have at least two of me by now) on that note, I'm gonna go google myself...

...okay just googled myself and nothing. However there is a new search engine that just debuted today, called www.cuil.com pronounced "cool" its actually made by former google staffers, and I searched myself on it and found some stuff. Google you have been dethroned. I'm a simple man, appeal to my vanities and you got me

black power...that was for you babe

hot time in the country

So after a pretty short weekend I've got a ton of things to post on, so I'll try to keep it short. Key word, try.

Saturday, The Lady and I played two games of "hey whose that" back to back, both of which went smoothly. For those not familiar with the game, as I just invented it, it is when you go to a social event/outing with your significant other and are the only one in the room who is not the dominant race, thus leading to the others in the room to ask themselves....yeah you guessed it.

For the first round, I had home field advantage, and we went to the closing ceremony of an African American Male enrichment program. A program I was a former member and mentor for, yadda yadda yadda it went well, and the food, greens, mac/cheese and chicken...surprisingly baked, was delicious.

With a quick pit stop at the movies. (Stepbrothers, which was exactly how it looks) I relinquished home field and was in the road team locker room for round two of "hey whose that". Now let me fill you in, that The Lady comes from a rural background, in some circles they may call it country even, however she, herself is all big city sass. Meanwhile some of her family members are every bit "rural". To be honest, I get a little skeptical at these events, but her family could not have been kinder.

It was roughly 150 people, drinking, dancing, remembering, drinking, carrying on, drinking and having a good time, all while drinking. Some highlights of the afternoon included, me drinking 2 Guiness' at a time the entire afternoon. The Lady's Stepmother demanding that I dance with her in front of everyone while no one else was dancing, as she continued to scream at me I DONT CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK!!. Same said Stepmother referring to The Lady's mother as Catwoman for half the afternoon was a trip, mind you she would the purr and show her claws each time she said it.

It should also be noted that T.L's father had, what we in the Hip Hop community would call, a strong pimp hand. As in the front yard sat his totally pimped out Chevy for everyone to gawk at with personalized tags, also rather than dance with either his current or ex-wife, who were both at the function, just let them dance with each other all night as he just straight kicked it, priceless. I have a whole lot more to say about this event, and its a safe assumption that I will reference it in the forthcoming months, but I'm in the office and have to get up on this conference call soon. (yes babe, I had a great time, and am not joking or dogging anyone)

Speaking of being in the office, I get the vague feeling that everyone else is at their computers trying to look as busy as I am, ohhh if only they could see what is on my screen. Mets scores, Obama news, this blog, kinky hand puppets, oh the joys of masquerading around as an adult...sorry if this post was boring, it was fun to me. Conference call time...

By the way

I suppose this would be as good a post as any to fill you in some particulars about myself, so you will get the references Ill be making in the forthcoming weeks.

I work for a Rescue Social Change Group www.rescuescg.com it's best described as a marketing firm, but what we market is social change to kids i.e don't smoke cigarettes, or drink underage. (Its paramount that I put that underage, cause apparently we don't care about of age drinking). I'm still learning the job, so as I learn it I'll have more to comment on. The office is made up of three or four people of who I have already grasped that I am their closest negro friend. In times like this I like to call my self the Ambassador.

Family life, I have two wonderful sisters, and since the internet is also a sick place I will not be mentioning their names ever in this blog, just know that one is entering high school and is beautiful (I will refer to her, as, the older one) while the other is entering middle school, and is quite possibly the sweetest human being on earth, she, I will reference as the younger one, try and keep up. My mother and I have a love/hate relationship, in which she loves me, and I hate her advice as it is mostly always right. However I got the double recessive gene and thus I have what doctors call "thickimus skullimus" and rarely listen till it's too late. My Stepfather is the shit, period. (pretty nifty how I actually followed period, with an actual period right? comma,)

My girlfriend, who I will refer to as, The Lady (note the caps) is one of my best friends, whom I have the luxury of kissing. Apparently my other good friends are opposed to me kissing them, curses!! She's great, works for the Fairfax Hospital saves lives, mostly mine, and gets paid big bucks, get it girl. We are moving in together next weekend and I'm actually pretty excited about it, mind you my mother, grandmother, and all other religious entities in my life have their own thoughts on the matter, but alas, that's what parents are for. Oh, and she is white, which has not proven to be a problem, however when we get off the phone, I normally end with a "black power", to which she has lately been responding "white power". I let her know, to stop saying that out in public.

As for my first night of staying with my buddy in D.C last night....ohhh this is going to be fun. Vagabonds, and no turning signals, blacks, whites, hispanics all running the street in thug life unison. And I dont know if this is customary, but all the cop cars keep their lights on at all times? but they weren't making the loud noise or whatever, it was like they were set to stun, not kill. Either way, on my way to the office this morning I gave a homeless man a dollar, then as if it were out of a "thriller" audition 78 more of his friends just appeared out of the ground and gutters and graveyards, asking for more....oh city life, welcome to big people world mr. anthony.

Soooo I slept in my car last night...

Welcome to D.C!!! So yesterday I've got a flight from San Diego to D.C with a lay over in Vegas. Vegas much to my surprise has slot machines in the airport, then again now that I think of it, it would be me to surprise if the town didn't.

So I'm in Vegas and my flight has this three hour delay, needless to say I hit the bar and damn if I didn't meet some characters. Most notably a woman who claimed to be a bartender, and a "freelance zookeeper". Yes, a freelancer, I didn't know if zookeepers had a union or something to that affect apparently if the zoo's have problems with their animals they call her (or Mike Vick). Not quite sure why a zoo would be calling her, but apparently zoo's often can't contain their wild. Being ever so intrigued I asked her how she got into it and she was so kind as to explain "oh no honey, it's just part time" and that was the end of her zookeeper tales. Her bill comes, her card gets declined and some stranger happily agrees to pay the tab as long as she promises to mail him a check, the two of them then spent the next ten minutes doing some intricate "are you sure you'll pay me back" drunked up conversation. I mean, honestly my man, if you can't trust a bartender, part time zookeeper, from Vegas to pay you back who the heck can you trust. Then again I guess there's a reason what happens there stays there.

Anyway, by the time my plane gets to D.C, around 1:30 my buddy who I am staying with is already sleep and rather than wake him in the middle of the night I just elect to sleep in the Dulles airport. Let me be the first to tell you, between feeling like a vagabond and having the vent I was laying on digging into my ribs it was a pretty comfortable venture. So much so I just got in my car, drove around D.C and ended up driving to my new office at 3:45 am, and sleeping in the closest parking garage. On the bright side, I was the first one to the office this morning...

Welcome to big people world Mr. Anthony

Welcome to all

"...the only thing that might cause a delay, is the lightning...". Is not exactly what you want to hear the man in the terminal say, however, here I am, in Chicago, waiting to board for San Diego, and that is what is being blared over the speakers, and I find it oddly amusing that no one seems the least bit unsettled by this, not in the least...Well Im going to keep this initial posting brief, however this will be the first post on my first year of living in D.C and with my girlfriend and having my first salaried job. Over the next few months at the request of quite a few of my friends I will list here all my random thoughts and rants regarding the aformentioned topics as well as whatever else may come my way.

So yeah, read along if you like, I'll keep you updated on the new job, the "living in sin" as my mother would put it, how difficult it is to be a role model at times to my sisters, being in an interracial relationship, whatever new movies and or CD's I may be listening to, and of course tracking the election and whatever else may come into my mind...Im also open for ideas and or questions. If I like where it goes I may try to write a book or at least draw some stick men and call it the same, and on that...I'm out