new job update

Alright so Ive been absent for a bit cause the new job has been consuming a lot of my time and energy, so lets get up to speed.

So for those of you just clicking in, I am now an Assistant Director at a community center in the county of Fairfax. I've got a staff of 11 that I oversee and of the 11, 8 are a good 15 years my senior or so which is pretty chill. I do a bunch of stuff yadda yadda. But the more important thing I wanted to get to were to points.

Numero Uno. Speaking of which, for those of you who took Spanish in high school, you better get to dusting up on it, I say it all the time Spanish is the new internet (try stealing that phrase if you want, but this post is date and time stamped so I have proof I said it first) but just like you essentially do not NEED the internet to live, it sure does open up a lot of the world to you. The same can, and will be said for the country's "second" language. I try to throw in some espanol when I go to any retail chain where all the employees are speaking Spanish, it normally gets me one of two looks 1. "good stuff American boy" or 2. "just stop, please, this is bad". In any event, I give it a go...but no that's not what I was going to talk on.

I'm sitting at my desk on my first day at the Center, getting my workspace set up, going over the software, just all in all getting myself adjusted to my surroundings, when after about honestly 4 minutes, I looked at the clock, and was like "dang 3 more hours". Now here I am, been out of work for three weeks, begging to get back to work, excited about the new job and everything, but even then at my most prime urge, I was hour counting. Which got me thinking, am I the only one? Or are we just a whole set of folks steady walking around backwards counting the time till we are free. Cause I can tell you, I have worked some jobs, some I liked, some I loved, but anyway you put it, I was backwards counting. I mean full fledged pulling out my hand and counting on some ole "...2 o' clock, 3 o'clock, 4 o'clock.." and don't tell me I'm the only one to do the count and be like...what 6 hours?!?!? lemme try again "...2 o'clock, 3 o'clock, 4 o'clock..." That's cool and all when it's the waiter getting you a re-fill trying to get off after your table, cause she wants to watch American Idol, but its not really all that great when the Medic on his way to get you after that heart attack at 10:02 just text his girl friend at 9:59, "no matter what Ill be home in 15 minutes I been here 9 hours". Or the Surgeon looking at his schedule like "auggggh not another brain thing, thats 13 hours just down the drain". Speaking of hour counting, who else out there is counting off on their hands how much sleep they are about to forfeit for some more fun? I started this in college when 8, and 9 ams were my foe and drinking more was at stake, now I just sit on the couch staying up for staying up sake rationalizing it in my head " okay, if I go to bed in 30 minutes at 2 how much sleep will I get...2 o'clock, 3 o'clock, 4 o'clock..."

Now the second thing I want to bring up might not be so clean, but thats okay, and no I don't mean vulgar, I mean literally clean. I was at some training for the new gig and went to the bathroom and just as I stepped to the urinal I noticed a huge puddle of urine in front of the urinal so I just stepped over to the less puddled other urinal. Now to all you who have never been to a male public restroom, this, is, the norm. See, and it never bothers me unless, ohhhh I dont know? Maybe when I don't want to step in pee? Seriously its not as gross as it sounds, its actually a bit grosser, especially at sporting events and concerts, and theme parks, come to think of it yeah come to think of it theme parks are down right barn like. So much so that I could make a business that put down hay in men's restrooms at theme parks and that business could single handedly turn around the economy. It's not that men are gross, and can't hit a target right in front of them, ok, well thats part of it, but not as huge a part as you might think. My beef here is with the actual design of the urinal itself. The damn thing is just right there on the wall, made of porcelain (tough word to spell, note to self: poor ci layn) anyway. Would you think to yourself to even throw water right against a poor ci layn wall from six inches away and not expect to get some on yourself or at least the floor right there? Not to mention the whole fact you have to get close because the dude next to you might be the one, the one out of every 48 guys you catch gazing around, so you're all huddled up on this thing feeling your own pee splash on your hands just hoping no remains show up on your jeans, or khakis you dastardly steed you, and for your accomplishments what are you rewarded with? thats right, a nice puddle of urine from the previous 17 men to have been here before. I actually took the time to look up new urinals and that photo is apparently some new trendy one in Euroland or something. (note to all Americans Euroland is not some new theme park in L.A) it's in Orlando.

Okay Ive got some walking around to do, and I'm sure you've got some facebook stalking to get back too.