In no way do I consider myself a Casanova, however I do understand the most basic of human interactions. So I'm on the bus this morning and a very pretty woman gets on the bus and right behind her was this guy who had apparently been hitting on her at the stop and decided to keep it up on the bus...much to my delight.
Ole girl sits down and my man sits right across from her (strike one, don't hover). He apparently keeps their "conversation" from the stop going in which he's asking her about her profession. "So what, you're into advertising and shit?" (yeah, I'm gonna need you to not refer to her job as "and shit") I will admit her politeness was quite the gesture, I figured for a sister she was gonna snap at my man, but no she let him keep going, again, to my delight. Oh, perhaps now is as good a time as any to point out that she was dressed nicely in a tan business suit with some serious heels on, while Thug Mammal No.4 was wearing cut off jeans, yes cut offs, apparently he was auditioning for the part of Incredible Hulk, a flannel shirt unbuttoned with a white t, book bag, and the most tattered Redskins hat of all time, oh that's right, and a skate board. Which leads me to wonder, why ride the bus if you already have a skateboard, are you gonna catch a ride to then...go ride?
Anyway Thug Mammal No. 4 and his skateboard continue further with his attempts. Somewhere between babbling something about "damn gurl you got it" "what stop you getting off at" she managed to drop her politeness and start to give him, the scowl. Again, gentlemen you want to steer clear of telling a woman she has anything so ambiguous, women do not like getting or having anything unless they asked or planned for it, read: weight, kids, engagement rings, or TM No 4's with skateboards, and also you don't just ask where people live not in this being the easy to stalk era.
Needless to say, at some point I could no longer contain myself and blatantly started laughing at the situation. Which to some might seem bold, but see, I have been practicing my "get out of my face" face (bear with me, it's a working title) a practiced stare that fends off birds, children, old white women and most notably strangers in public. So when ole boy gave me a look that said partly who are you, and partly wanna ride my skate board. I shot him a glance that said wholly "don't start" and "no thanks I'm not into skate boards". For whatever reason, the shenanigans came to an end and he leapt from the bus at the next stop and scurried off into the horizon cut off jeans in tact.
Okay so perhaps this wasn't as much as a how to as a brief replay of my hilarity early this morning maybe I should put a more in depth how to together.
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