Shop Talk

I NEED A HAIRCUT-

Perhaps you may not be of Negro Male descent like me, but see, our hair is like a beard, growing out of your head,  and for those of you who shave, would you dare go 2 weeks without shaving. Ladies, apply the same analogy to your legs or under arms, would you let that hair grow for 2-3 weeks without a little shave? Yeah didn't think so.

So that's where I am. Here with a wooly head, needing a cut. As a side note it should be noted, I do not know how to shave. Not cause I am lazy, but for the simple fact that I don't grow facial hair. Well I do, but it's to level at which The Lady refers to it as a "baby beard" which technically if you saw it, it's a "baby goatee". Come to think of it, if a baby actually had a beard I might pay money to see this. Then I would be PISSED that the baby had more facial hair than me, so on second thought maybe I wouldn't be so hyped up to see a baby with a beard. I already get a little salty when I see high school kids with full beards. I just want to go buy some beer and be like HA! take that I AM AN ADULT who drinks beer, and has a job... but no beard anyway, now that I've got my pressure up just thinking about it, I still need this haircut.

So here I am, googling "black barbershops" in my area. Either they're all too far, or have too shady a name like "Parole Officer Kuts" or "Knife Kut Kingz" (note the KKK subtle joke there, which is no longer subtle as I have pointed it, but whatever, I'm a little off my game since I'm all pissed about this alleged baby with a beard). I think I've found a spot near the house and just called hoping a brother or a sister might answer the phone, yes, my actual brother or sister. Anyway I call and some Korean lady answers the phone to my surprise, to which I quickly ask her " I was wondering if you all cut black people's hair" which as I said it out loud a lot worse than when I was thinking it. She said they did and with all my excitement I'll be heading there after work. 

 However, the more I think about it, why on Earth would she have said no. "Umm nah sir, we don't cut the hair of Negroes, Russians, or Left handed Irish, says so right on the door, but we do have a special on baby beard trims"